Here it comes and God help me! Chloe is really doing her job even though I hurt I try to get out as best as I can. Chloe is grounding 100% because she doesn’t want me to walk. Good girl Chloe!
What do I do? I have endured insane pain since the middle of Feb 2014 the original pain triggered end of Jan, 2014. It is “Trying my soul” both physically, emotionally and spiritually. My spirituality is so important to me and all I can do is hang on to the belief that God is with me since I spiritually beat. To beat to pound on Gods door. My sanity has turned into a Sunami and I don’t know how to save myself.
I have been on the muscle relaxers the pain killers, and tried meds that added more pain like headaches. I would like my simple life back. My simple life would “Beg to differ” by most as it comes with managing pain, and fatigue that leaves a person paralyzed.
I know how to do Fibromyalgia and CFID, but add this and it is spiritual insanity and physically a living death.
It is the day after my injection not thinking of anything but positive thoughts about the medical treatment became a huge let down. I tried to walk a half a block per request to take it easy and not push by my PA. I am in excruciating pain and disappointed with my self. Along with this lack of exercise is the food that I eat and how to stay healthy with my weight because I am not able to move. I have chosen my Chronic Fatigue Immune Disease (CFID) plan no carbohydrates except air popped popcorn, veggies, legumes, and lean protein. It is a strict discipline, but a good one.
I am calling doc tomorrow to let him know that I am not doing well. “More shall be revealed!”
Finally doc appointment today. The last seven days have felt like a month of nauseating and excruciating back pain of suffering. This also meant it was a time for Chloe’s training out and about at the doctors today.
Chloe is a one year old puppy this month and still in her training years. Training a pup takes consistency both physically and mentally it is a twenty-four seven job and I am the one to do it!
Our visit at the doc went well. Chloe felt the need to stray away when people would make comments about her because she knows when people are talking about her, smart cookie! This is normal behavior for a service dog in training. Keeping their is crucial. In the patient room she was put in “Down” command which is hard for any pup for any period of time. She stayed down until the PA came in. She got up to greet him and then I had to direct her to “Down” command. She became startled when the PA started to work on my back as she already is watching over me. Chloe was put back into “Down” command. My teacher said I always “Win” which means my diligence has to supersede any thought of throwing my hands up in the air.
My Physician Assistant (PA) Mike is fabulous and is always up and on it when it comes to my healthcare. He has been treating this nerve condition for a few years now. It is now become more prevalent. He said that I need to keep the inflammation down. The mode of action is first a shot of cortisone in arm that will go all over to help with the nerve pain, topical compound cream for the area in question, muscle relaxer and pain pills to keep the inflammation down if needed. The shot should help for the next few days and then repeat the shot if needed. If this continues then we will restructure my care. This means being sent to a specialist to have the nerves in my spine treated to stop the pain.
My PA knows how important it is to keep my core strong and he know that my Pilates Machine is important to my health care. He was supportive in the fact that if I cannot do the Pilates Machine then I will be in more trouble than I am now.
I shared with my PA that me world is narrowing and he reminded me that I do a lot of good stuff for someone suffering with this disease and wants me to keep my goals going as it gives me life and a sense of “Importance” and “Contribution” to the world.
Looking forward to a new day tomorrow. WOOF!
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