Secrets That Harm Us

Life!  As if I don’t have enough on my plate?  Fibromyalga, CFID and everything else that comes with it.  Today i just found out that the chronic cough I have had steadily for a year has turned out to be Esophagitis, Gastritis, and Duodenitis.   A biopsy was taken and now I must wait.  It has been a rough day I woke up at 4:30 tossing and turning just looking at the clock waiting to get up.  My body just doesn’t function well from the inside to the outside.  I am scrambling inside of myself thinking what could have caused this and what could I do and not do.   I eat exceptionally well and stay away from candy, cookies, ice cream, white flour and most diary.

Not to change the topic, but what was also hidden in my life for eighteen years was I participated in the ritual of anorexia and bulimia.  Mostly the Bulimia and I looked like the epitome of health and new one knew the secret I was keeping.   The Thursday before Christmas I received my ten-year token for not acting out.    It is amazing, I thought  would not ever be free of such an awful act.  I was extremely humbled today I had to tell my Gastro that I forgot to share with him my secret and would he check to make sure I hadn’t done any damage to myself.  A nurse came over and help my hand, she looked at me with compassion and said congratulations and then on with business the ENDOSCOPY, and well we know how they turned out.  I cannot take it back and I have a lot to talk about when I see my doctors as I have been advised to schedule with Gastro and Internest.


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